So, your overdue Breaking Dawn summary:
It’s really a piece of crap. Like, way more so than the other three, even. 
So, at long, lusty last, Edward and Bella get engaged, and thy have the wedding at his parent’s house, and off they go to a beach house in Brazil that the Cullens own for their honeymoon. Edward finally gives in and gives Bella her way, granting her the hot beef injection at long last. And oh, he is actually able to withstand eating her face off! The bliss!

So they go at it like wildebeests for a while, until Bella notices she feels weird. A quick phonecall to Dr. Cullen confirms that she’s knocked up. Oh noes! They pack up and head home, and Edward is anxious for Carlisle the Good Doctor to ‘take care of it’, whatever weird baby is growing in Bella’s self-righteous womb. Note bene: never, ever, ever is the word abortion used. It’s discussed, but never named. It’s a Bad Word.
Anyway, Bella refuses, flat out.

In order to protect the mutant, she enlists Rosalie’s help, who has always wanted a child. So Rosalie backs Edward down. Meanwhile Bella’s pregnancy proceeds at fast forward speed, and she’s mega sick all the time until—uh, duh, you idiot—she figures out maybe she should drink some blood since she’s carrying the spawn of a vampire. Once she does that she is way less sickly but the mutantchild

is strong and keeps breaking ribs and whatnot when it kicks.

Ah, and then the birth. Basically the child rips its way out of Bella’s body,

so at the last instant Edward turns Bella and then she blacks out.

The next section is told from Jacob’s POV—and please, is a little continuity too much to ask for? If we only ever see Bella’s POV maybe the middle of the last book is a

stupid time to change that?—and when the werewolves learn of what Bella’s toting around in her girl parts, they decide to kill her, which Jacob freaks over because he’s still

in love with her despite Bella’s horrible treatment of him—so Jacob breaks off from the werewolf clan taking a couple others with him because oh, he’s an alpha werewolf too. So he guards the Cullen’s home, and then when Bella has the baby he decides to go kill it.

So Back to Bella. She’s a vampire now, and her daughter—the mutantchild—is named Reneseme. Stupidest. Name. Ever. She grows exceptionally fast and is psychicish, and can touch you and explain without words what she’s thinking. So here comes Jacob to do the creature in, and instead…dun dun dun! He imprints on her, which is the weird deus-ex-machina way that the wolves fall in love with their soul mate. So now Jacob is on team Reneseme too.

Meanwhile, Edward and Bella move into a cottage in the woods and basically have sex nonstop. Because now that they are married and stuff it’s okay. So, some other vamp comes through and sees Reneseme and thinks its a child that’s been turned into a vampire, which is strictly forbidden by the Volturi that we met before. Visiting Vamp lady runs off to tell the Volturi, and they have been looking for an excuse to slay the Cullen clan anyhoo, so they head to Forks to put a killin’ on them all. Alice sees all this coming to pass with her convenient future-vision, so the Cullens begin recruiting vamps by showing them Reneseme, so that they have some backup when the Volturi get to town. The werewolves have joined up with the Cullens too, so they put on a decent front when the Volturi arrive.

Then, cue the most anticlimactic conclusion in all of literature: They meet in a big clearing, a group of 150 or so all told, and… they talk it all out. Reneseme—who looks like a 3 year old already— touches one of the Volturi leaders and he figures out what she is, a halfbreed. But since they don’t know if she;s dangerous they still want to kill her. Just then Alice arrives with another halfbreed from some south american jungle who’s been alive since the mid 1800s to prove oh, look, halfbreeds are safe after all, no worries, everything’s great!

Like I said. Lamest ending EVER.
Barf.
So, there you go.
Oh, and it concludes with Edward and Bella getting it on some more. And oh, they have an eternity to continue to do so!
Double barf.

On my way home from Kentucky, I sang along at the top of my lungs with the entirety of an AC/DC album.

I am now hoarse.

And it makes me happy.

My macbook pro has been hitting about 171ºF.

Boo.

Listening to The Doors in headphones is a good idea. They use(d) panning in neat ways. Ooh, the organ is located near my right eye. Drums are behind my left ear.

Stereo is neat.